I feel as though I should inform my blog that Daren and I are engaged! I'll reveal that story a little later, but for now I'd like to take a moment to reflect on familiarity.The comfort we feel in our homes, with our families removes the burden of uncertainty that is laden on our shoulders, cures the fear of an unknown future that so often plagues us. We live our longest days yearning to go home, a place we know and we are known. Well, I returned to Rexburg earlier this month where, I once again, am working my 4AM custodial job. I am tired all the time. I spend a good deal of time on campus, walking around bleary eyed, looking into the face of stranger after stranger as I mill about. I'm taking new classes, one in particular more often than not, presents me with new concepts, tremendously difficult for me to grasp. Don't misunderstand, I love being here, I love my classes, roommates, fiancee', but there have already been days when pressure, confusion, doubt, and immense frustration ignite and are fueled to panic levels by weariness. Not too long ago such a day presented itself to me. My last class (the one that is proving itself to be a nuisance) delivered the final measure of frustration and about half way through the class I was near tears, feeling like everything was going over my head and I was doomed to wander in obliviousness and failure all my days (side note: when you're sleep deprived, molehills are mountains). I returned to my apartment in a cloud of mental chaos, contemplating my seemingly endless to-do list. I remained in my miserable fog until, I was home. In one astounding moment, it was alright. Warmth washed over me, and sweet reassurance and clarity of what was real and important. This was something I knew, and would always know, this was certain, this wouldn't change. My apartment although a home for now, couldn't have relieved me this way. No, only the face of my beloved: a familiarity that although is only built on eight months, reflects eternity, could expel the gloom of the day. There is nothing that feels as natural, as right as the time I spend with him. My future husband, whom I will only know better with time, will always be the home I return to. He is and will be, the familiarity that banishes all uncertainty. My comfort. My happiness. My love. Nothing could ever be so wrong that it could not be made right by those reassuring, unbelievable blue eyes.
